Until We Are Whole Again
by Aminatsu032
Summary: When they brought back Sakura's body to Konoha - battered and bruised - Sasuke found himself regretting that he had been the reason why she left. But right after she opened her eyes and asked him who he was, he wondered if it was already too late. - SasuSaku. Sequel to Walking on Broken Glass
1. And even when the world stops spinning

_...because the moment we realize that it's too late_

_is also the moment we realize how much we have been saying the things we don't mean,_

_and meaning the things we don't say._

(

**Until**

**we**

**are**

**whole**

**again**

)

_will you still love me in the morning?_

**XIII.**

Uchiha Sasuke had once been the man with no regrets. Why would he have any? He was the prodigy: the best in his year. He was the sole survivor of the prestigious Uchiha Clan, and though he died every time he relived the day he found all of them dead, he still regretted nothing. Why would he? He wasn't going to regret the death of his clan - he was going to make the person who made it happen regret it.

His own brother.

His own flesh and blood.

The person he looked up to the most.

Uchiha Sasuke never regretted looking up to his older brother, either. Because, he told himself, he learned to never trust anyone ever again.

Oh, but he failed to keep that promise, yes. Because it was not long thereafter when he realized that he was growing attached to the same people he swore he would forever be indifferent towards - his team, Team Seven. They had become important to him and he did all he could to protect them. He had to.

_"Sasuke, teme! What took you so long?!_"

Because...

_"Sasuke-kun."_

...they were his family now.

_"Yo, Sasuke."_

And he wasn't going to let the same thing happen to them.

He was going to protect them.

_Hundreds - hundreds of Naruto everywhere -_

He was the strongest among his genin teammates.

_"I'm going to be the Hokage, dattebayo!"_

He was the only one who could.

_The rasengan -_

But...

_The sound of a thousand chirping birds - _

...was he _really_?

They were getting stronger.

(They don't need you anymore.)

He had to get stronger.

(What about your revenge?)

He had to fulfill his mission.

(Are you sure you wouldn't regret this?)

_"I love you with all my heart, Sasuke-kun!"_

He had to leave.

* * *

Sasuke was furious.

No. He was beyond furious. He was livid.

He had walked out of the room the moment he heard Sakura ask him what his name was.

How could she forget?! She would never forget him - not him. _Never _him.

_"Sasuke-kun!"_

He banged the door to the Hokage's office open, seething. "What happened to her?"

A pale yellow eyebrow rose at him as the lady clad in green crossed her arms at her chest. "Uchiha! Have you no respect?"

"What. Happened. To. Her," he demanded, ignoring the woman's remark.

"I warned you that you weren't supposed to enter that room yet." Tsunade glared at the boy - no, he was a man now - as he glared back. They continued on like this, fighting for dominance, until Tsunade finally softened her gaze and looked away.

"A returning team of ninja came across her unconscious body along the borders of Konoha," Tsunade said, her voice thick with melancholy. "She was bruised and wounded, but other than that she had been fine. At least, we thought she was until..."

The godaime sucked in a deep breath, looking back at the Uchiha, whom she saw was still looking at her with intent eyes.

"...until she opened her eyes."

Sasuke grinded his teeth together. No, he told himself. He was not going to throw a fit and get angry. Getting angry would not do anything now, except complicate things. Getting angry would not turn back time, and would most certainly not bring Sakura's memories back.

_"I love you with all my heart, Sasuke-kun!"_

"But," Tsunade continued, meeting Sasuke's onyx orbs, "if I was to make a decision like that again - to send someone who had little chance of succeeding, other than someone who had no chance at all - I would still choose the former." The godaime's amber eyes fell gradually, as she continued with remorse. "And though I regret what happened to Sakura, I don't regret that I chose her for that mission."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, and Sasuke mildly realized that the Hokage was not talking to him anymore, but convincing herself for the most part. "It doesn't matter if she remembers anything about what has happened - or anything else, for that matter - as long as she's alive. Lost memories can be found or be replaced with new ones, but a lost life can never be brought back again."

* * *

**XIV.**

Sasuke was seven when he first met her. She was crying in the middle of a playground, all by herself, for some reason he didn't know. But he approached her, nonetheless, because he never did like seeing other people cry. And so with quiet steps, he walked in front of her, holding out a white handkerchief - his favorite one, the one his mother made for him - at the crying girl with short pastel pink hair.

Realizing the presence in front of her, the girl's shoulder stopped shaking and she looked up at him slowly. She was beautiful, he thought. At first, he deemed her pink hair rather odd, but the moment his onyx eyes caught sight of her emerald ones, he immediately asked himself what could make someone as enticing as her cry?

And so, young Uchiha Sasuke frowned.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

Sasuke saw the girl's eyes water with tears again and he immediately felt himself panicking. "H-hey -"

The girl was rubbing her eyes now. "Th-they said my forehead was a-abnormal," she said, and he unconsciously took a glance at her forehead. It was wide, yes, but he thought that the size of her forehead actually fitted the rest of her features. "They were m-mean t-to me."

"Who are they?" he found himself asking. Somehow, he felt an odd urge to defend this crying little girl from whoever the people making her cry were.

"I... I don't know..." the girl admitted, sniffing and shaking her head.

"Do they know you?" Sasuke pressed.

"I... No..."

Then why are you so affected by what they think? "Hn." Sasuke offered his handkerchief again, feeling his arm going numb. Gladly, this time the girl took it.

"Thank you," the girl said softly.

The pink-haired girl continued crying for some time, and Sasuke watched her, not really knowing what to say. After a while, she spoke again, "They hate m-me," she hiccuped.

"No, they don't," Sasuke immediately answered.

The girl looked at him dubiously. "H-how do you know?" she asked.

"Because they don't know you," Sasuke answered, shrugging and looking away. He didn't really like looking at her crying like this - he didn't like looking at anyone crying in general. "Nii-chan says you can never really hate anyone unless you know them."

Before Sasuke could elaborate further, he started hearing his mother's voice in the distance.

"Sasuke! Where are you?"

"I have to go," Sasuke said, looking at the pink-haired girl one last time.

After a while, he heard the girl call back to him. "Y-your handkerchief!"

Sasuke stopped walking, remembering that his favorite handkerchief was still with the pink-haired girl. He thought about whether he would take it from her, but after a while, he decided against it. She needed it now more than he needed it. "Keep it," he said as he started walking again.

When he arrived home that day, he realized that he never really did ask what her name was.

* * *

Sasuke hardly never did anything but train anymore. If he was exhausted, he slept better - well not exactly better because he still woke up in cold sweat thinking about her green, green eyes and her sweet, sincere smile, but he kept still for most of however long his sleep was.

He couldn't bring himself to visit Sakura again.

Just remembering her blank eyes and innocent expression looking at him, and her lips moving, _asking _him who he was, made his heart clench.

Subconsciously, he found himself remembering the events from the night she left for her mission.

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_ he had asked her, staring at her green eyes. There was an emotion in those pools of green that he couldn't quite put - sadness? Pity?

But why would she pity him? he found himself asking.

It was after hours of thinking that he realized the answer - she pitied him for he was a man who could not love.

But couldn't he, really?

He could! He was in love with -

Sasuke broke away from his thoughts, clenching his teeth together.

_No._

He wasn't.

He wasn't in love.

Not with _her_.

He was filled with guilt, yes, for they he was probably the reason why she took the mission in the first place.

In addition to that, he also felt regret - an emotion that was so foreign to him because he had once prided himself for being a man who didn't _feel _regret; who didn't _have _regrets.

But, oh, he did.

_"I didn't think you cared," _her voice echoed in his ears.

He did.

He cared.

_So much._

(Doesn't that make you love her, though?)

He clenched his fists.

(You care _so much_ for her.)

_Stop it! Stop -_

(You love her.)

_I SAID STOP!_

(You are lying to yourself, saying you don't.)

Sasuke sat up from his sweat-stained sheets, breathing heavily.

(You are a liar, Uchiha Sasuke.)

He brought his palms to his head and pressed them against each ear.

(You are a liar.)

"Stop it," he hissed under his breath. "Stop it! Get out of my head!"

(_Liar...)_

And, with reasons still unclear to him, he found himself standing up and walking towards the direction of the hospital.

_(You liar...)_

* * *

**XV.**

After the dreaded night of the Uchiha Massacre, Sasuke told himself that he wouldn't cry.

He _refused _to cry - crying was a form of weakness and he _refused_ to be weak.

He had to grow stronger - he had to _be_ stronger. It was the only way he could avenge the lives of everyone who had died in the hands of his own brother.

However, as he walked home from training that day, he realized that he had taken a route he so blatantly avoided.

He was standing in the middle of an empty playground. The sun was setting somewhere in the horizon, and the sky was painted orange and violet and black.

And, despite his promise to himself, he felt a tear roll down his right cheek, remembering why this place was so important to him.

This was where Mikoto would take Itachi and himself on their way home from the market - both of them would insist on coming along, only to get bored and end up pestering their mother to hurry up and finish. Mikoto would laugh kindly at the both of them. She would buy them ice cream and take them to the playground to play.

Young Sasuke didn't bother to wipe his tear from his face. He figured he deserved to cry - even just this once.

He closed his eyes and held unto the memory, locking it inside a box in his mind like it was his most treasured possession.

And perhaps it was.

* * *

The streets in Konoha were eerily quiet, but Sasuke had expected this. It was probably two o'clock in the morning and he doubted anyone - except the guards by the Konoha gates, perhaps - would be awake.

Sasuke took his time walking towards the hospital. He had not bothered to bring a jacket, or anything to keep him warm, with him. He took the feeling of cold around him as a punishment for all the bad things he had done.

Once he'd arrived by the hospital, he noticed that the lights in the rooms were turned off. The lobby was lit, and he saw a woman in her mid forties sitting by the reception desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of her.

Sasuke pressed his lips together. Visiting hours were over and he doubted he could go waltzing around the lobby - the receptionist would usher him out, no matter what his reason was.

Sakura's room was on the fifth floor, he remembered. Sasuke looked up and tried to recall where exactly her room was. He closed his eyes in concentration - inside the room a little to her left, Sakura's dormant chakra flickered.

Gathering chakra to his feet, he walked horizontally on the walls until he arrived by her window. He crouched down and opened it silently before propping himself by her window.

Sakura was sleeping restlessly, her fingers twitching every now and then and her face contorting into an anguished expression. Sasuke frowned. He could only imagine what she was dreaming about.

As quietly as he could, he landed beside her bed and studied her face closer. She was sweating, he noticed, and Sasuke fought the sudden urge to tuck a strand of her wet hair behind her ear.

In her sleep, Sakura whimpered softly.

Sasuke froze. What could she be dreaming about that was so terrible?

Before he could think about whether it was a good idea or not, Sasuke brought his hands to her shoulders and gently shook her awake.

"Sakura, wake up," he hissed in alarm when she still wouldn't wake up.

He shook her harder. "Sakura."

Sakura opened her eyes abruptly and Sasuke saw a look of terror crossing her features. He opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay when a set of hands found its way around his throat.

It was a few seconds later that he realized who it was strangling him.

Sakura's green eyes were still staring straight at him.

...The hands were hers.

(

_will_

_you_

_still_

_love_

**_me?_**

)

**tbc.**


	2. or the sun stops burning

_The rest is over now  
And we can breathe again  
I want to hold you high  
And steal your pain away_

walk...

**keep**

**walking**

(

He was standing in the middle of a long corridor - there were doors everywhere, each about two meters apart. There was something in the air that harbored his breathing and stung his eyes, but whatever it was was nothing compared to the inner turmoil he felt in his mind.

_Where the hell am I?_

Tentatively, Sasuke took a step forward. He immediately stopped after one.

Walking was hard, too, he realized. It was like walking on water with chakra - he could feel the ground shifting beneath him, like water.

He studied his surroundings again. From where he was standing, it didn't look like the corridor ended. How had he arrived here, though? The last thing he remembered, he was in the hospital with Sakura. She had locked her hands around his neck and strangled him, looking at him with wide, panicked eyes.

The moment Sasuke realized the threat; his body's first instinct had been to activate his kekkei genkai. Sasuke wouldn't have done this (he would not even consider hurting Sakura in any way), but against his better judgment, his Mangekyo Sharingan had awoken.

Sasuke frowned. If that was the case, then Sakura would have fallen limp in his arms, rendered unconscious and he would be in her hospital room.

But now, he didn't know what to think.

If any, he was more confused than ever. Was he inside a genjutsu? If he was, why was he fully aware of it, then? Unless the genjutsu user had fully intended it to be so...

Sasuke continued walking, slightly out of breath. Whatever was in the air was tiring him out. He blinked several times, his eyes watering, as he listened for any other sign of life.

There was none.

Reconsidering his genjutsu theory, Sasuke pressed his palms together to form a seal. "Kai!"

Nothing happened.

"Kai!" he said again, gritting his teeth.

Sasuke dropped his hands. So he wasn't inside a genjutsu, then?

Suddenly, he heard someone walking up behind him. Sasuke waited as the person drew nearer before he made his move and locked whoever it was sneaking up at him into a death grip. He automatically activated his sharingan, looking at his enemy...

...when he realized that a pair of green eyes were looking at him with candid surprise.

Sasuke didn't know what to make of it - the person was Sakura. It was painted all over her eyes - the recognition.

This was _Sakura_! _His_ Sakura! Not the girl sitting up on her hospital bed asking him who he was.

Sakura's expression mirrored Sasuke's own relief and confusion.

"_Sasuke?_" she finally managed to breathe out.

Sasuke opened his mouth and closed it again, not knowing what to think. This was impossible! How could she be _here_? Where were they?

He vaguely registered that someone was shaking his shoulders.

Sasuke turned his head - but there was no one behind him, and his shoulders were not moving at all. But why did he feel like -

"Hey, Sasuke! Wake up, now! Wake up!"

He looked back at Sakura - her face was now becoming blurry, as well as everything around him.

"Hey, Teme!"

Uchiha Sasuke opened his eyes with a start. He eyed his surroundings frantically - he was in Sakura's hospital room again, sitting on the ground and leaning against the edge of Sakura's bed. On it, the pink-haired girl was still sleeping peacefully. From the position of the sun outside, it looked like it was about ten in the morning.

"Hey, hey, where's the fire, Sasuke?" a voice said above him.

Sasuke looked up and saw Naruto grinning down at him like an idiot and holding a white plastic bag in his right hand.

"Actually, I'm quite surprised you're here," the blonde continued, putting the plastic bag down by Sakura's bedside table. "I really thought you weren't visiting Sakura-chan at all."

Naruto's words barely registered as he thought hard of what had happened. Was it a dream? It was the only probable explanation - he had passed out when he activated his Mangekyo Sharingan and dreamed about the never-ending corridor and Sakura.

"I should have known, though," Naruto babbled on. "You only visited her when she was asleep - sneaky, Teme. Almost like a stalker, eh?"

No. No, that didn't make sense. He had never passed out upon activating the Mangekyo Sharingan before. How could it happen _now_?

"Hey." Naruto poked him on the side. "Say something will you. You look like you've seen a ghost! Don't worry, Teme. I won't tell on you!"

Unless...

"Seriously, Sasuke – I won't tell anyone! I promise!" Naruto said, voice slightly panicked, as he noticed Sasuke's conflicted expression.

Sasuke – not really comprehending anything that Naruto said since he 'woke up' – quickly got up on his feet, and headed for the window.

"Hey, Teme, where are you going?!"

Sasuke didn't bother to answer. The next second, he was jumping from the fifth floor window and running across Konoha so fast that any person standing near him as he passed by would mistake his presence as a gust of wind.

There was only one explanation left: Sasuke was certain it hadn't been a dream. It felt too _real_.

He was almost positive.

The person he had met earlier…

…It was Sakura.

* * *

**XVI.**

Two weeks after he had gone to the Hokage, demanding her to tell him where she had sent Sakura, Sasuke awoke from a nightmare.

In his dream, he was standing in the middle of a glass cage pounding heavily against its walls. He tried to shout, but he could not seem to hear his own voice. He looked frantically around him – he was in the middle of a forest, with trees as big as those of the Forest of Death. He pounded again and again, even trying to break the glass using chakra, but to no avail. He leaned against the glass, his sweat trailing down his face as he breathed heavily.

_It's no use – I can't get out_, he thought as his knees buckled and he knelt on the ground, exhausted.

_Nobody else needs me, anyway, _his train of thoughts continued. Naruto would be sad that he had lost his best friend again, but he would get over it. Eventually, he would become the Hokage – just like he always dreamed. Kakashi, perhaps, would mourn his loss as well. Aside from them… no one…

…no one would remember him as someone other than a traitor to his village who was lucky enough to be accepted back again.

He would be forgotten, like a passing wind, and everyone would carry on without him.

"Sasuke-kun!" somebody called from behind him. Sasuke stiffened. He knew that voice.

Sakura! It was Sakura!

Sasuke turned around in bewilderment.

Sakura had not forgotten – Sakura was here.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, Sasuke saw a dark shadow behind the pink-haired girl.

Sasuke's eyes widened as he pounded desperately against the glass.

_Behind you!_ He tried to shout, but he still could not find his voice.

Sakura continued on walking, completely unaware of the presence behind her. Sasuke pounded against the glass wall harder.

_SAKURA, WATCH OUT –_

But it was too late. The person behind her brought his hand down and impaled her through the chest with a long sword.

Sasuke recognized the weapon instantly – it was Kusanagi.

Sakura's green eyes widened as blood gurgled from her mouth. She looked at him with sad eyes as she went down, the blood flowing down her chest.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun," she mouthed.

Sasuke could only look at her in horror – at one point, he had stopped banging his fists against the glass, subconsciously realizing that there was nothing he could do.

As Sakura's body fell to the ground, Sasuke realized who it was who stabbed her.

He grinned down at him as he pulled his sword back, some blood splattering his immaculate white clothing.

Suddenly, Sasuke felt like throwing up.

The person who had killed Sakura – it was himself.

* * *

Sasuke stood in the middle of Sakura's hospital room, staring down at her sleeping body silently. He mentally asked himself if he was crazy.

There was little to no chance that he was correct about his theory – for all he knew, it could have all been a dream after all and he had blacked out because of exhaustion. It was probable, yes, (it was probably more likely than the chances that he had unexpectedly met Sakura inside his head) but some kind of gut-feeling wanted him here.

…Or perhaps it was his guilt gnawing inside of him, telling him that he had no right to give up on her.

Sasuke clenched his fists.

It didn't matter anyway, if he thought it was real or not – he was going to find out now.

Quietly, he walked towards her bed. He reached out for her shoulder, and the moment he made contact, Sakura's shinobi reflexes kicked in and her eyes opened instantly.

But before she could scream or alert anyone of his presence, Sasuke activated his sharingan...

...And the world turned black around him.

* * *

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he realized that he was standing in the middle of the wide never-ending corridor again.

But it wasn't what made him want to rip his heart out from his chest.

It was the fact that Sakura was standing right in front of him, looking up at him with unreadable eyes.

"Sasuke-kun," she said. "You're back."

_)_

_...so_

_that_

_one_

_day_

_we_

_will_

_find_

_**salvation**_

**tbc.**


End file.
